2021 is gonna kill me for this headline. #FreeTheBotox. Damn, I can already hear it. I can’t help it, though. I’m too woke. Or is it unwoke in this case? I don’t know, I can’t keep up, and I honestly don’t care: I don’t want my gaming life to be all botoxed up (is that even the verb?).
What am I even talking about? Well, allow me to clarify: I can vibe with my OnlyFans being all up in dubious botox-spheres. Hell, I chose that life, so that’s on me. With gaming, though, I want it to be about… gaming. Is that too daring? Too much to ask? Am I making sense yet? Let me dig deeper...
My ex (who was botoxed up, by the way) went to college to get some of that education she missed out on. At said college, she was, excusez mon francais, the sh*t. She was the ‘you can’t sit with us’-leader, except that, to her credit, she wasn’t a mean girl – everyone could sit with her (no, that’s no sneaky hint at why we broke up…). Yes, Miss Botox was Captain Inclusive, and one of the people that sat with her was a girl with questionable hygiene and serious Asperger’s syndrome. Needless to say, that same girl didn’t exactly slot right into the social structures of 21st-century colleges.
However, the association with my ex certainly did help things for her, and her passion for gaming even had me teaming up with the hygiene-lacking girl who shall remain nameless. We became video game friends – not that she needed it: One realm that this girl was quite in high demand, was the digital one. Here, I was just another friend on the friends list. Here, hygiene didn’t matter and neither did eye contact, staring or gesturing. Yes, those are all symptoms of Asperger's and also the exact characteristics of the Winter Soldier and while I can’t comment on nameless girl’s possibly Hydra past, I can segue into this:
Female-Winter-Soldier experienced no issues in her digital comfort zone. What mattered in the digital realm is your skill on the joystick and, yes, I know what that kind of sounds like and I want that dirty reference hiding here somewhere to remain just that: A reference, a metaphor and not reality. I want to keep gaming about gaming. I want to keep gaming exclusive and I don’t want the best to be defined by looks over skill.
Problem is: When browsing through Twitch, I see half my OnlyFans subscriptions next to buffed out dudes that make me feel insecure about my workout routine. I get worried that this beloved pastime of mine, which for the longest time had been a symbol of inclusion, will become another realm dominated by the beautiful.
We’ve already seen this happening in acting, sports and music. Yes, Ed Sheeran is holding down the fort, but beautiful actors, actresses and singers dominate the scene. They always have, but they’ve never been as talentless as now. Yes, it’s a visual medium… I get that and to an extent I accept it. I can get on board with Cristiano Ronaldo being the most followed man on Instagram because that man is the GOAT and also makes me tingle in places, but I can’t get with this new-age of sub-par actors and athletes achieving fame through their looks only. Actually… let me rephrase… I can’t get with beautiful, talentless, privileged influencers occupying the realms of acting, sports and music. Yet, it’s happening. In fact, it happened already. Look no further than TikTok musicians and the Paul brothers sports exploits for proof (though Jake’s beauty is questionable, but I digress…).
Point is, I hope gaming stays true to its git gud formula rather than looking gud. I want my botoxed ex to keep doing her socialite thing and her may-or-may-not-be-the-Winter-Soldier-classmate to keep doing her gaming thing.
Consider this: Having a face for radio already became a thing of the past, with podcasts all being on camera these days. Can we make sure that hygiene for gaming stays a thing?
Am I making sense? Was this all a little offensive?
I don’t care.