Valve have been surprisingly active on the CS:GO update front so far in 2021 and yet, they are missing the mark everytime. The whole world knows that chickens on Vertigo is the only fix this game needs and will ever need. What the f@#$, Valve?
Chickens are the best and the fact we don't have them on a virtual building site where virtual terrorists and virtual policemen are shooting it out over a virtual bomb, is unacceptable! Vertigo needs them chicken legs and we will not remain silent until the people get what they want!
Lack of Chickens on Vertigo, or How We Failed as a Species
My parents live in the country, ya see. I visit quite often. There are cool things over there, such as shovels, dirt and chickens walking around said dirt. Makes you feel warm inside but you need the full package. You can't only have one or the other. I know of a haunting place that's breaking that rule. A place where there are shovels, likely dirt way below the floor we're at, yet there are no chickens. That place is Vertigo.
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What sort of world allows this to happen? What is our purpose in this life if not to bring chickens to that godforsaken construction site? What is the purpose of life in general? If you ask me, it's 42 chickens. And we have none on Vertigo. What's up with that?
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We had yet another CS:GO update last week and yet another one this week, and still no trace of any bird feathers across the map. It's like someone at Valve actually believes that there are more important issues in the game. There are not! You can't take out bots and not replace them with something equally valuable. Like chickens. I digress. They are by far more valuable.
Gaben, the universe, life and everything else is in your Dota-loving buttocks' hands. As weird as that sentence is constructed, I feel perfectly comfortable with writing it. That's because without them chickens on Vertigo, nothing we say or do really matters.
Look what you've done, Gabe, look what you've done.