We all know that one chap whose stories always sound like utter bollocks. "A prisoner escaped and was then caught while trying to buy Call of Duty: Black Ops Cold War." Yeah, right. Oh, wait, that really happened? Yes, sir, it bloody did.
A British escaped prisoner was thrown back in the can after a random police check on the street. What does that have to do with gaming, you ask? The man could not keep his ass home and went out to get Call of Duty: Black Ops Cold War. Bloody fooking hell, mate!
Call of Duty: Black Ops Cold War Takes Man Back to Prison
The lad had escaped from prison in November and did a good job at hiding for two months before unequivocally deciding to take a January walk on the streets... while England was in full lockdown. We can't expect Einstein IQ levels from a geezer serving 17 years for robberies, arms possession, etc., but my god, man, how thick can you be?
In a shocking turn of events, the fugitive was stopped by coppers who asked him what's the deal with him strolling around during lockdown. An imminent identity check would have unveiled the escaped prisoner's current status, so he did the only reasonable thing in such a situation: kicked the policeman in the nuts and made a run for it.
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The kick seemed decent, 5/10, but the running, not so much. For starters, you never want to fall on yer butt right before you jet off, which is what our hero did. Even with a recently kicked sack of balls, the British policeman showed determination to bring justice to the nutcracker, so this Call of Duty quest was all for nothing.
- READ MORE: Is Call of Duty: BOCW Worth It in 2021?
Well, not completely for nothing. For his escape from prison and the assault of an officer, the former robber received 18 months of imprisonment upon his original sentence. When you think he could have just gotten a mate to buy it for him online.
On the other hand, going back to prison may be a better fate than playing Black Ops Cold War.